A point for presentation in the debate of content vs presentation:

Everything sounds better in song

Yes?

Hello readers.

OL (Opportunity of a Lifetime) is back! Since the last two posts, I’ve almost had to delete my screen name because of the large influx of girls IMing me begging for a chance to meet Kevin or Daniel (true story).

Surprisingly, I’ve also had a large male group IMing me, asking for the OPPORTUNITY OF A LIFETIME for the heterosexual male. And so, here it is:

I PRESENT TO YOU

FRANCES KANG.

That was a joke.

You see, Frances is exactly the kind of girl that guys are looking for!

How sick and tired are you of the go-out-for-dinner-and-buy-her-food-only-to-have-her-eat-basically-nothing routine?
Well fellas, let me tell you. Frances here. She can put it away:

Note: That fork was all that was leftover from this buffet after Frances went to visit. True Story.

Also, let’s be honest here. Most guys want a good-looking girlfriend, am I not right? It would be a lie to say that no matter how not shallow a guy is, looks have no bearing in a romantic relationship. Well, let me tell you. Frances is absolutely beautiful. Here she is, at her best:

Oh my goodness, I think I almost just fell in love with her right now.

You’ve seen the pictures, and I bet you’re thinking, “She looks kinda of familiar…” Well, firstly, you need to know that Frances’ face is not the kind you forget easily. And I really mean that. Secondly, you may have seen her in your middle school class room as a motivational poster. Frances Kang, the shining beacon of hope for middle school girls all across America:

And finally, here is the cherry on top. Frances is not actually her real name. It is an alias she uses to study in America because it would be cumbersome if her fans back in S. Korea found out who she really was. She is not only famous, but extremely funny as well. Who doesn’t love a girl with a sense of humor? And here you have it, Frances Kang! Live! On television! Rare footage!!!!!

COME IM ME QUICK GENTLEMEN BEFORE THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE IS SWEPT AWAY BY SOME OTHER SUCKER!!!!

World, I realized that all 3 billion women in the world cannot share just one Daniel, so I am doubling the number of catch-of-the millenniums available via THIS BLOG.

Meet Kevin:

He was an adorable baby:

He has very nice eyes when he smiles or laughs:

He’s good at basketball and has been hitting the gym for years now:

He is mysterious:

He’s had one default picture for the 3+ years that his facebook has been active:

LADIES!!! HURRY!!! IM me before he gets SWEPT OFF THE MARKET!!!

World, it’s been awhile.

Rather than put in energy and post some thoughts I’ve been having lately, let me introduce you to my friend, Dan Kang.

He is fun:

He loves God (and talking about Him):

He is good at basketball:

He is stylish:

And now, he has a new trick:

Talking about chins…

MOST IMPORTANTLY!!

HE IS SINGLE!!!

Ladies, IM me for the opportunity of a lifetime to meet the catch of the millennium (if he is willing to come out that day)!!!

PS: I would just like to clarify that besides being the inspiration, Daniel Kang had no hand in this blog entry

It’s amazing how something that happened so long ago can still haunt us now

I was driving the other day and I was stopped at a light. It was a pretty big street and cars were parked to my right. As I sat there, with my foot firmly on the brake, I suddenly got the sensation that my car was moving forward. I started freaking out and started slamming on the brake. Still, my car seemed to be moving forward. Then, I realized that the car that I thought was parked to my right was actually moving backward. Pretty stupid, I know. But get ready for a bad analogy coming up.

I feel like I often rely on relative points of reference for judging myself. That is, because I was around the same people for such a long time evolving into doing the same stupid things, I never realized how much I’ve changed. One particularly shocking moment for me was when I was telling one of my friends about something stupid my other friend had done. I was explaining to him how my other friend and I are similar and it’s funny he would do that, and to picture me doing the stupid act. Then, my friend said that he actually could picture me now doing it, but not me two years ago.

Anyways, the whole point of this blog post was to marvel in shock about how much I’ve changed without realizing it.

Now, the real issue is: Are you who you want(ed) to be?

I think London is going to be a good break

So I am looking through my most recent text messages on my old phone, which dates to July of last year.

Some notables:

Kevin Liu: “Damn work is so boring lol can you work wednesdays? Iqbal can’t anymore”
Kevin Liu: “Lol do you know jessica h.o.? Her brother is in my  korean class lol”

Noona: “I heard umma on the phone. if its gonna take a long time we should just fuck it”

Sarah Lee: “Get ready to get crushed you yuhj”

Reveri: “Hahaha good n u spitting idiot beligerantly alcoholic its ok but i will rip on u for a lil”

Patrick: “Wanna ball tonight? Daniel might come too”

Gilbert (Iqbal): “Bf 3?”

Ji: “Lol i just realized i went online yesterday after i came home and wrote a hate message on [somebody]’s face book”

Oh how little we changed

So I had a chance to talk with Joon last night regarding what actually happened Saturday night.

Theory on the location of my phone:

At one point during our NRB session, I informed Joon and friend that I would be relieving myself in the restroom. However, after many minutes pass, I do not return. Concerned, Joon gets up and checks the bathroom (also to relieve himself as well). On the way, he overhears two kids walking to the bathroom about some random guy who just walked into their room and sat down. Nobody knows him. Joon hopes that it is not me and continues his search. Unable to find me, he is forced to talk to those kids and go make sure that “random guy” is not me. But alas, Joon walks into a room full of high school kids, about 20-25 of them, although I’m not sure how they’d fit in those small rooms. I’m sitting in the middle phasing out. Everybody is keeping their distance from me with a “who the heck is this guy” expression on their faces. As he curses at me and tries to get me out of the room, I try to convince him that I know them through church. I’m hoping that I actually don’t know any of them. Otherwise, mad embarrassing. Damn. I think I left my phone in that room.

So there’s the story. And it matches up with information that I’ve gotten from other people. For instance, people received texts such as “Hey baby you up? Cause I am.” And people who I otherwise would not call received calls from my phone. Yup. And those little brats probably won’t be returning my phone. Awesome.

Here is the expense report on my missing items:

1. Internship ID ($18)
2. Cellphone ($0 – My dad found the tank)
3. Passport-sized photos (~$8)
4. SU ID ($15)
5. Memory from last night ($Dignity)

Here’s to a better forecast

Things I’ve lost in the last 2 weeks that I would like back desperately:

1. Internship ID
2. Cell phone
3. Passport-sized photos
4. SU ID
5. Memory from last night

Damn it.

John, it’s a Friday night 11pm. You are 20 years old, arguably one of the better primes of your life. You’ve been stuck in an (unpaid) internship all week 8-5 as you watched, through a window, beautiful rays from the sun strike everything that surrounds your office building. You don’t have to get up early tomorrow, so tonight is the one night a week to stay up late and not feel like complete crap the following morning. Surely, you must have something epic and legendary planned. Surely.

Negative captain.

Unfortunately, dear reader(s!?), the person whose blog you are currently perusing through seems to be lacking in the friends department. Or rather, friends who are:
1) willing to come hang out despite being gassy and having some self-image issues
2) currently in the same state(location) as I am
3) willing to leave dota to hang out
4) willing to hang out with a group of “younger kids” (hint: this one graduated college)

So what do I do on this fine Friday evening full of joy being killed and my self-esteem regarding my social prowess dropping faster than this guy left alone in a bad neighborhood after yelling racial slurs? (Btw, no offense to that guy. I just googled “fat guy”). I bitterly bitch and whine about my life, and then blog about something that I’ve been meaning to happily blog about for about the last week or so. (Update: The whole blog ended up as bitching)

Internet Slang

I am not an opponent of internet slang. I see the advantages of it, including the entertainment value. But seriously, some of you faggots (namely my aforementioned dota friend) take it too damn far. Following is a list of e-speak (internet communication habits), that really just annoys me sometimes.

lawl/lewl/lulz – Seriously. Wtf. For those of you who can’t figure it out, these are variations of lol. Various (faggoty) phonetic spellings of it. I’m not sure exactly why, but my balls cringe a little bit everytime I read this. It’s kind of like that feeling you got when you watched James Bond tortured in Casino Royale…only not as intense.

w.e. – This actually infuriates me. Especially in an argument setting. While arguing, saying “whatever” dismissively is basically saying, “You think you are right, but I’m the one who’s actually right. HOWEVER, I don’t feel like using up the energy to enlighten you. I am also not willing to listen to your point of view because I’m a self-righteous bastard.” If typed out as a whole word, it wouldn’t look as bad. But holy crap. When I see those initials, it legitimately pisses me off.

roflcopter/lollerskates – Really? Those gifs were pretty sick, but that’s about it.

Numb3r R3pl4ac3m3n7 (Number Replacement) – There’s a reason T looks like T and not like a freaking 7. And zero will never be O.

Vocalizing e-speak (I’m sorry for continually using faggot. I have nothing against homosexuals, but it’s my favorite insult) – The next time I hear somebody physically say, “pwnt” or “lawl” or “rofl” or “8 less than sign,” I don’t know. I might explode of over-exposure to faggotry.

Retarded-ass (I don’t have anything against disabled people) grammar mistakes – YOUR IS NOT YOU’RE. THEIR, THEY’RE, AND THERE ARE NOT THE SAME. My personal favorite is “you’re” or “they’re” to mean possessive. Congrats, you’re doing more work to sound more uneducated. Admittedly, my grammar is not perfect. But COME ON! It’s not like I’m looking for dangling modifiers or something out here. Let’s just get the basics right. Please. Also, just a random one: common =/= c’mon.

TyPiNg lYk DiS – I know that is no longer popular (I hope), but what’s an e-speak rant without that one? You can also tell I’m running out of ideas.

That’s it for now. My bitterness and anger towards spending yet another Friday night alone have subsided. And ramen calls.

P.S.: All images used in this blog post were courtesy of google image search.